Monday, May 21, 2012

! = not an awesome way to start out a trip

Articles - Diabetes Articles
Monday, 30 August 2010 06:16
B and I were headed upstate yesterday morning for an overnight family outing. We piled into our little Zipcar and hit the road at the bleary-eyed hour of 7:30 for the drive. Somewhere in Queens, however, my usually-silent little friend spoke up:

Dex: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, buzz buzz buzz

Huh. The screen was completely blank. Had I sat on it and accidentally shut it off? I restarted, heard the familiar shrill initialization shriek, and kept on driving.

Dex: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, buzz buzz buzz

Um. Okay, crankypants. Maybe I'm out of range or something? So I hit clear, and then stuck him between my back and the seat.

Dex:

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, buzz buzz buzz

Time to call in reinforcements. "B, can you please see what the hell Dex is screaming about?"


Now, neither of us had ever seen this screen before and, as I was going upstate for less than 48 hours, I hadn't packed my instruction book. So! Time to call Dexcom for translation services....survey says: Dex was now the dearly departed. (Sadly, no results from the autopsy will be forthcoming.) Within 10 minutes, our friendly Dexcom customer service rep had put in an order for a new receiver to be delivered to my office.

This should have been a happy ending, I know this, but I was completely stressed out. How was I going to do the next 8 hours of grazing without that receiver by my side? I wouldn't be able to re-up until Tuesday afternoon at the very earliest - that's days of missing data, and heaven knows how many unnecessary (and unaddressed) issues with basals or bolusing or any of the other million things that can go wrong in a day with diabetes. And all right smack-dab in the midst of my attempts to have the tightest numbers I've had since high school!

I felt stranded and a little exposed - like being in the middle of a dream and realizing you're not wearing any pants. And that upset me. How reliant have I become on this little piece of technology? I've only had it 7 months, and yet I started panicking the minute I had to face the idea of not having it. What does it mean for me that I depend so much on it? That I don't feel comfortable or at ease when I'm not "plugged in," that I find myself reaching for it when I'm sleeping or heading to the bathroom, checking to see where I am and to make sure Dex can see me?

As for the actual D, I did what anyone would do, of course. I tested a bit more and tried to keep well on top of everything. My BGs seem fine (those snapshots on my meter, naturally - who knows about the in-betweenies!) for the most part, and I'm really looking forward to being in the office tomorrow morning to start another sensor. In short, this too shall pass.

But I can't stop thinking about my reaction to Dex, Sr.'s death. I'm reliant enough on insulin, Synthroid, my pump, my glucose tabs, all of those things that HAVE to be taken. Do I really need to be dependent on the extracurriculars, too?

 
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