Hailey's Birth Story

was fluctuating only about 2-3 lbs above and below pre-pregnancy. In the whole pregnancy, I gained only about 18.5 lbs; 8.5 lbs of which was the baby and about 8 lbs of it was the amniotic fluid. Sleep by the end of the pregnancy was hard. My belly was so large it made it extremely difficult to roll over without waking up. I had to get up to pee every 2 hrs or so (almost to the dot!), and was required to test my blood sugar throughout the night too. I remember that I had intense sciatic pain when moving at all since approximately week 25 of my pregnancy, but that it was instantly gone when I got up for the first time after the birth. All of this made the nights not so restful.

I never really had any strong or odd cravings. I ate a lot of poutine in the middle/end of the pregnancy (and was eventually strongly told not to do so, because of the diabetes!). I’m amazed at how large my belly got throughout the pregnancy. By the end, I was measuring 49 cm at 36 weeks; I was measuring 13 weeks ahead! Yikes! My belly button was definitely an “innie” at the beginning, but by the end was definitely poking out, and the stretch marks were big and bold.

The biggest piece of advice I was given for the pregnancy, and the thing of which I reminded myself many times was, “Baby feels what you feel. Don't stress out.” This was so important, and I tried to remember this whenever I felt worried, anxious, or stressed about something in my life. Her health and safety was more important than anything I may have been feeling.

The very first day I felt true movement was when I was about 22 weeks pregnant, and Adam and I were in Edmonton on a mini vacation, on the weekend of July 3rd and 4th. Soon after, Adam could feel the movement from the outside, and we could see little blips when she kicked! Throughout the second half of the pregnancy, the movements that I could feel got stronger and more frequent. She seemed to move a lot more in the afternoon and evening, and was usually very quiet until around 11am or noon. The funny thing is, now that she’s here, she’s the same way! She often has her eyes open a lot more in the afternoon and evening, and sleeps more easily and soundly until around noon. By the end of the pregnancy, I could almost determine which body part was kicking me because I could feel so strongly the kicks and rolls across the inside of my belly. Sometimes I was sure I could actually feel a heel of one of her feet, and was so excited to see her tiny feet on the outside. I tried to capture her movements on video tape a few times, but I swear she knew when we were watching! A lot of the times when Adam came to watch or feel her movements, or when I tried to video tape it, she would stop all the intense movement she was doing just seconds ago! It was amazing, however, when I could sit on the couch and just watch my belly move. Indescribable.

The majority of my pregnancy was rather easy. No complications: no swelling, no high blood pressure, all my blood work and urine tests came back normal. Apart from the Diabetes and uncomfortable-ness I was feeling from being so large, things were going totally fine.

However, the last few weeks of my pregnancy were a little different than the previous months. I had visited the Women’s Specialty Unit on the 6th floor of the Rockyview General Hospital in Calgary Alberta a few times. The first time was at 20 weeks, due to some pain around my front and back, but was not admitted. The second time was near 32 weeks, a three night stay from September 8th to 11th, due to extremely high and uncontrolled blood sugar levels. Due to this hospital stay, I was advised to go on Short Term Disability Leave. I was very happy to be focused solely on the pregnancy and controlling my Diabetes. Although I had stayed in the hospital overnight before, I hated staying in there for any length of time, especially overnight. Unfortunately, the rule of the hospital was that no one could visit after 9 pm, and therefore no one could stay overnight.

When I was nearing 35 weeks, after visiting the Diabetes in Pregnancy center to see the nurse & dietician (endocrinologist, Dr. Doreen Rabi wasn’t in that day), I was told to go to the hospital to get a Non-Stress Test (NST) on the baby. The baby looked great, and I was free to go. The next day was an Obstetricians appointment with Dr. Heather Edwards, and I was told that our delivery plans were still uncertain. The goal had been to reach 38.5 weeks (October 26th), but that an earlier induction or c-section may be necessary. After that appointment, due to large amniotic fluid levels and varying sugar levels (including unexplained dropping requirements of insulin), Dr. Edwards had decided that I was to have a nurse from the Antenatal Community Care Program visit me daily to do a NST on the baby, and that I was to have weekly Biophysical Profiles (specialized ultrasounds) on the baby. That appointment was on a Thursday (October 1st), and the first nurse visit was Sunday (October 4th).

For 8 days in a row, each NST went great, and never neared the 60 minute time limit. In fact, one of the tests was finished in the minimum requirement of 10 minutes! The only thing was that I was having new and sudden swelling of my ankles and a bit of high blood pressure (~120/85+), and so I was given an automatic, at-home blood pressure cuff and monitor so that I could test at home 4 times a day. The majority of my readings were under Dr. Edward’s “high blood pressure limit” of over 95, and things looked fine.

On the 9th day of monitoring, a Monday, October 12th (Thanksgiving ,actually) things changed in way I never could have predicted.

The baby was on the NST that day for the maximum of a full hour. The first half hour didn’t look very good, due to the baby likely sleeping. She woke up and moved a bunch more in the second half hour, but not enough so that the monitor said she met the requirements of the test. The nurse said the baby looked fine, but that they were required to have the machine say she met the requirements. My blood pressure was also a little high (no doubt due to being told the baby might be in trouble or that I might have to go to the hospital), so the nurse left and I was told to test my blood pressure 45 minutes later. The blood pressure normalized, and I was sure I was in the clear. However, the nurse called the OB on-call at the hospital, to see if they thought I should come in, as was normally the suggestion when a NST was not passed. The nurse didn’t get a hold of the doctor, but spoke to the Charge Nurse, who said she was sure the OB would want me to come in. The antenatal nurse said that either we’d have a baby very soon, or I would get sent home quickly and all would be fine.

When I got to the hospital, I was hooked up to a NST and a blood pressure monitor. All the blood pressure measurements looked normal (~120/80), and I thought we’d be sent home shortly. However, when the Resident (who I found out later was a 1st year student nurse… seriously?!) spoke to me, she told me I’d be induced tonight. WHOA! Things were changing fast! She told me I was 25% effaced, a fingertip dilated, and a had a non-favorable cervix. Not bad, considering it was my first child and I was only 36w4d.

Since it was so close to the shift change, I was told the next OB on-call would speak to me, and make the decision to be induce or not. Luckily, it was my OB who was on-call next! Surprisingly, she felt strongly against inducing me tonight. She could see nothing different about me or the baby in the last few days, especially since the baby was doing fine on the NST in the hospital and my blood pressure readings were normal. Instead, she recommended I stay in the hospital until whenever the baby came. I would have an ultrasound in the next two days, and we’d make a delivery decision on Friday, October 16th. This way, she could measure my blood pressure and get blood work done whenever she wanted to. Also, I was told it was important because I was essentially a walking time bomb with the excess amount of amniotic fluid I had. Normal levels were between 10-25 cm, and I had reached 40.1 cm at my last ultrasound at 36w1d. If my water broke at home, there was a possibility of a prolapsed cord. Essentially this means that the umbilical cord would be pushed through my cervix due to gravity and the volume of water, and could cut off oxygen to the baby. If this was the case, we’d have only a mere four minutes to get help, otherwise the baby’s life could be in danger. I was told I would get a private room and even a TV. Although I hated the idea of being in the hospital, especially for an unknown amount of time, potentially till at least the following Monday/Tuesday, plus recovery time, I decided to stay.

But of course, nothing is predictable, and I wasn’t given a private room or a TV. At first I was told they didn’t even have private rooms, and then I am told they do have a private room but that it’s currently being used. With all the ups and downs, this was the last straw. Feeling emotional and overwhelmed, I began to cry. I know it was safer to be in the hospital, so I did decide to stay anyway, but I was quite upset over everything going back and forth: the baby is fine, no she's not; you don’t have to go to the hospital, go to the hospital; you will be induced tonight, no you won’t; you will have a private room and TV, no you won’t. I hated being in the hospital, but I definitely didn’t want to hurt Baby.

The nurses began monitoring my blood pressure every two hour beginning at 8 pm. After the first reading, where they measured both my left and right arms, and used two different cuff sizes, the result came back as both high (with a regular cuff) and normal (with a large cuff). My OB came by and we realized I had been measured this past week with the wrong (large) cuff! Apparently, my blood pressure was likely higher than I was recording because the large cuffs tend to show a lower blood pressure than is actually accurate. For the following readings, we used the regular adult cuff, and every reading after that was higher (~120/95+); definitely over my OB’s “too high” reading. At 4 am, Dr. Edwards came in and announced I would be induced. Right now.

She felt my cervix, and was, in fact, just a fingertip dilated. She inserted the Cervadil, and I was put on a monitor for another NST for one hour. I was told that I might feel some period-like cramps, but likely not for a few hours. Well, it was within about 20 minutes that I began feeling very, very uncomfortable period-like pain. I thought I might have been imagining it because I knew it would be coming, but soon after I realized it was definitely real. I was sure it was nothing like what labor would be like, but it sure hurt. I never experienced a full on, “real” contraction this day. I saw many tightenings recorded on the NST, and felt a lot of period-like pain, but never felt a real contraction. I got two shots of Morphine with Gravol (one at 6 am, one at 10 am) for the pain, and it seemed to help.

I called my mom around 6 am, as I didn’t want her to head in to work and then be asked to come back later. Plus, I didn’t want to wake Adam yet. Especially if I was going to go into labor today, I knew he needed to be rested. My mom made it to the hospital shortly after 7 am. She was wonderful, and I couldn’t have made it through that day or the following days without her. She was helpful, comforting, gave me massages, got things I needed, and just sat with me. It felt great to have her around. Later that morning, I called Adam and my mom had called my sister, and they both arrived to help me that day.

We spent the day in the double room I was in since the night before. I didn’t eat much at lunch, since I wasn’t hungry. I was pretty tired, and took a few naps. I felt a little bad that the three people there for me were likely bored to death since I was sleeping, but I definitely needed some rest, whenever I could get it.

I was on the monitor for a NST for the baby all day long. I was told that she wasn’t moving as well as they’d like, so they sent me for an ultrasound. She wasn’t moving much on the ultrasound either. When I returned, I was told I would be having a c-section. Dr. Edwards checked my cervix again, and I was still a fingertip dilated. By this time, I was exhausted and overwhelmed, and just started crying. I remember as I was about to get back in bed, waiting for the c-section, my water broke. I thought it would be more identifiable, but I remember crying even more because I wasn’t sure if I had just peed my pants, had diarrhea, or what! My mom told me the fluid was clear, which is great because it meant there was no meconium (baby poop) in the fluid, but I was so overwhelmed and couldn’t stop crying. After calming down a while later, I was wheeled to the c-section operation area.

The spinal I was given hurt a bit. The doctor poked my back a few times, and although I was told to relax and not move, it was definitely difficult to do that. Then I was told to lie on the table. I remember being a tad nauseous right at the beginning and right near the end of the operation. I also remember feeling pulling and pressure, but that I was surprised to hear the operation had already started without my knowing it! Adam was next to me the whole time. I remember he had the camera, and I told him not to look at my belly. Looking back, I realize I am a tad interested in seeing what it looked like, and probably would have liked a photo.

I don’t remember much about how many doctors and nurses were in the room or what they were doing, but I remember the first time I heard her cry I couldn’t help but just stare in Aww with my mouth open. Baby was born at 36w5d on Tuesday October 13th, 2009. Miss Hailey Ann Wright. She was 8 lbs 8 oz, 20 inches long.

They brought her over to us, all wrapped up, swaddled in a hospital blanket with a little yellow hat on her head. She was so wide-eyed and observant. She wasn’t making a sound, and just seemed so content to look at the new world around her. I wish someone would have taken a photo of the three of us. Our little family was born. Of course Adam and I were a family on our own, but with Hailey born, it felt like a new little family. So many different words explain all the emotions I was feeling: surreal, happy, excited, nervous, in aww, overjoyed, anxious, in love. Shortly thereafter, she was taken off to the nursery, and Adam went with her.

They finished up the c-section, and, as it turned out, also removed my appendix. Apparently it had been quite large and obviously out of place, and had mucus on the inside. This is why I am happy to have had a c-section. If I hadn’t, they wouldn’t have seen it and removed it. I likely would have been hurt later on and needed to have a surgery to remove it.

After the surgery, I was wheeled to the recovery room, where both Adam and my mom came to meet me. Due to a rule that only one support person could be in there at once, Adam went back to be with Hailey and my mom stayed with me. The feeling of my legs being numb was interesting. I could feel the compression hose on my legs sort of, and I could hear the machine that made noise when they worked. I remember them checking my blood pressure a few times, and I remember talking, and waiting for blood work to come back. My mom says I was quite chipper, chatty, and smiling from ear to ear. I think it was because I had just met the new love of my life.

After about an hour and a half or so, I was wheeled to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), or the Special Care Nursery (SCN), as they called it. Because there was a transfer about to happen with another baby, I only got to see Hailey for a few seconds. I touched her hand. So soft.

I found out later that in the early moments of her life, she wasn’t breathing, and needed to be given oxygen. Her Apgar score, which measures her Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, and Respiration, was 9 at the 5 minute mark (typically the highest score a baby gets, out of 10), but was only 2 at the 1 minute mark. I don’t know where she lost all those marks, but if we had to guess, we would say she only got 1 point for skin color and 1 point for pulse rate, but none for breathing, muscle tone, and response to stimulation. This is only a guess however.

I also found out later that once she was in the regular nursery, they tested her blood sugar levels and they were at 0.8. This is extremely low. Immediately they sent her to the NICU/SCN, and she remained there for three nights. They tested her sugar levels every 3-6 hours, and she still has a lot of little red dots from the pokes on her heel. The first time I saw them poke her, and she cried in pain, I cried too. Slowly, with an IV of sugar-water, her sugar levels rose into the 2’s, then 3’s, and eventually the 4’s. They are happy with anything above 2.6 or so in the first few days, and once she reached the 4’s, they were even happier. On her second night there, they slowly lowered the amount of IV sugar-water she was getting, and was off the IV by noon on Thursday, October 15th. They kept her one more night, to make sure her levels were remaining consistent, and then brought her to my room on Friday morning at 10 am.

Because of the rule that no one can stay overnight with me, my mom came back on Wednesday morning right at 7 am, the earliest she could come in. At about 8:15 am, she went off to see Hailey. Thinking she’d be back in a few minutes, she returned almost two hours later! Haha. She, too, had fallen in love with this new little girl. She was the first person of our family who got to hold her and feed her. When Adam arrived at about 10 am, he went straight to the nursery, and held her for over an hour until I was able to get up and move enough to go to the NICU myself.

A friend of my sister said this: "My eyes got watery, and I couldn't breathe momentarily." That was exactly how I felt when I was walking over and saw Adam holding her for the first time. I cried at the sight of them. I still have to catch my breath every time I see her. I loved the image of him holding her. She was so small compared to him. So precious, so special.

I was so nervous the first time I held her. She felt so fragile. Even though I felt like I had known her for 9 months, it was like I was meeting a whole new person. She was real. I cried even more.

Over the three days she was in the NICU, we visited her often, and got to bottle feed her. I tried to breastfeed a few times, and pumped when I wasn’t with her. Unfortunately, because she was in the NICU, and already being bottle-fed, she wasn’t taking my breast very well. With the pumping, along with trying to breastfeed and with my Diabetes sugar levels being out of control, I became very overwhelmed and stressed. On the evening of Friday night, I made the decision to no longer breastfeed. Instantly, I felt more relaxed. I could now look at my baby girl with love and enjoyment, instead of stress, anxiety, and worry over her not breastfeeding well.

We were looking forward to going to go home on Saturday morning, but after a few tests, it was discovered she had increasing levels of bilirubin in her system and was diagnosed with jaundice. The pediatrician wanted to keep her all day on Saturday and overnight into Sunday under the phototherapy lights, and test her again in the morning. However, with my strong desire to go home, we compromised and she said she could be under the lights for 8 hours that day, tested again at 8 pm, and if the level was low enough, we could be discharged that night.

The feeling of the whole day of waiting was just that: waiting, anticipation, and the unknown. She spent the majority of the day between noon and 8 pm under the lights, getting out only to feed and once to be soothed. She had to wear foam eye covers to protect her eyes, and had to be naked (except for a diaper) while under the UV lights. After the lab technician took her blood for the bilirubin test again that day (those required even more blood than the sugar level tests), we waited for another 90 minutes before receiving the wonderful news: we could go home!!! Her level had decreased from 289 to 257. It wasn’t quite below the 250 they were aiming for, but it was significant enough that they let us go! As a side note, the public health nurse tested her on Sunday, October 18th, and my family doctor, Dr. Diana Wilkinson, got her tested on Tuesday, October 20th. The numbers have continually been going down: from 289 to 257 to 249 to 227. This was wonderful news!

We packed up our things, signed the discharge papers, and left the hospital at about 11:15 pm Saturday, October 17th. We were going home as our new little family. We had a baby.

“No one will ever understand the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”

I love that quote. I love knowing she knows me. I love her so much. She makes all this pain and the tough days so much better. I can't wait to know her forever.